How to Learn to Cumbia
Flash Fiction
Attend a wedding complete with carnitas, micheladas, and fireworks in your friend Rosa’s village. Notice the DJ is playing nothing but cumbias. Ask Rosa to dance. Don’t let on you’re into her. Apologize when you step on her left foot.
Take the hint when Rosa tells you she doesn’t like to dance. Force a smile when she says her cousin Suzy has the hots for you. Drink micheladas with Suzy until she starts to look good.
Ask Suzy to dance. Admit you’re a beginner. Ask for tips. Almost hear the one-two-three beat she counts out. Watch her demonstrate. Left foot back, step in place, right foot back.
Take Suzy into your arms. Step on her right foot. Apologize. Notice (how could you not?) that she’s coming on to you. Notice, too, that her stomach sticks out further than her chest. Dance a bit more even though your heart (not to mention other organs) isn’t into it. Slip away when she goes to the bathroom. Ditch the wedding, head to Rosa’s. Struggle to sleep on the couch.
Next day, Monday, fall asleep on the bus back to your city and ride all the way to the terminal. Summon an Uber. Day-drink tequila until you pass out, wake up Tuesday with a blinding hangover, and teach snotty prep-school kids English.
